After my vasectomy, I cowboy walked out of the office and headed toward my home. The office was a few blocks from my house and as I walked home, my favorite neighborhood bar beckoned me. Since I had childcare for a few hours, I thought, “I deserve a beer and a burger,” and I gingerly walked in and grabbed a seat. As I sat looking up at Sportcenter and chowed down on a burger and sipped a beer, the realization that this was a bad idea slowly entered my mind.
At first, everything was fine. I was a little uncomfortable, but it was manageable. By the time I was done with my burger and beer, I was in quite a bit of pain. The saunter home was the slowest I’ve ever moved in my entire life. My advice to those getting a vasectomy, don’t do that.
I’m glad I got a vasectomy. Men have put the weight of birth control on women for too long. Vasectomies are relatively easy and are usually free of complications. I’ve heard men say they don’t want a doctor spending a lot of time in the testicular region. I ask those guys, have you seen the stirrups women I have go through at their appointments? Getting a vasectomy really isn’t that big of a deal.
But, it is uncomfortable for a few days. Here’s my advice to get through it.
- Milk it. That’s right, for two days you should get what you want. Have everyone in the house wait on you. When they tire of getting you things, reply, “I just had my scrotum cut open.”
- Timing is key. The best time to get a vasectomy is during March Madness. You’re going to spend a lot of time watching TV. Might as well watch all those daytime first and second round upsets.
- Stock up on frozen peas. Frozen peas are a godsend. Seriously. Buy several bags and alternate them throughout the day.
- Get your pain meds the day before. When you want something for the pain, you’re going to want it right away.
- Take acetaminophen or ibuprofen for most painful moments.
- Baggy clothes and sweatpants are the apparel of choice.
- Wear snug underwear. No boxers.
- Take it easy. No sports, heavy lifting, sex, or anything else. Stay put and relax.
- Elevate your feet. It takes the pressure off your groin and you’ll be all about taking pressure off your groin.
- Shower over bath and be gentle on cleaning.
Vasectomy recovery takes 2 to 3 days, but you’ll have a little discomfort for about a week. It’s an easy surgery. At your initial appointment, ask all the questions. Share your fears and concerns.
One last tip, but this is about before your surgery. Manscape. If not, the doctor or an assistant will do it for you.