I walked into the barbershop for my birthday cut. It was a lovely sunny day, and I was feeling great. Growing up, I thought 50 was ancient, but there I was, resting in a barber chair as it was getting lowered. Usually when I go to the barber, I feel old. With all the mirrors lining the walls, my giant bald spot glares back at me, mocking my vanity. On the day of my 50th, not even a bald spot was going to bring me down. After a chat with my barber, we went over some ideas and then he got to work. He let me know I looked good for a 50-year-old and I not-so-humbly thanked him. Still feeling good as a mix of gray and black hair fell to the ground, the barber shook up my feel-good moment, when he asked, “Do you want me to shave your ear hair?”
Leading up to my 50th, I wasn’t sure how I would feel about my half-century mark. Some other big birthdays in the past were especially hard. When I turned 35, I was concerned about the direction I was headed. Since being an actor was a dream for as long as I can remember, that day was arduous because I was not living the dream I envisioned for my life. 40 was hard because I knew well that being at a mid-point in life, my dreams and goals were probably not going to be achieved. When I woke up a 50-year-old, I felt thankful.
But then I tried to get out of bed and reality kicked in.
Something happens to your body at 49 that prepares you for 50. Sure, the body is in a steady decline after 45, but when 49 rolled around, I hit a wall. First there were new stomach issues. Seems like no matter what went in my stomach, my body was mad. Then, while training for the NYC marathon, I acquired plantar fasciitis problems, shin splints, and Achilles tendon issues. And to top off my fun additional health issues, I developed high blood pressure. 50 came in like a lion.
A daily struggle with vanity was also a focal point this past year. As I mentioned, my bald spot has long been a troublesome issue. I’ve tried all the creams, oils, and pills that are supposed to generate hair growth, but nothing has worked. With every month, more skin on my head shows. And I hated it and hating it. And yet, hair has grown everywhere else that it shouldn’t. New lines pop up in my face daily and on some days, I’m surprised at the person staring back at me in the mirror.
Later on in the day, my family took me out to eat at my favorite restaurant, where I found out they were closing in a month. As if it was my last meal, I enjoyed every bite in the New Orleans style restaurant, my favorite style of food. The kids shared nice things about me and gave me gifts. After the walk home, I put my kids to bed, and each one showered me with love. I was once again reminded of how lucky I am.
At 50, life did not turn out the way I hoped. The 20-year-old me would be furious at the 50-year-old me. I’m content though. I’ve been able to travel around the world and share my journeys with the public. I achieved my goal this year of running the NYC Marathon and am even looking forward to running it again next year. And I have had the honor of raising 4 amazing humans. My life hasn’t been easy, especially in the last 5-10 years, but it’s where I’m at.
On the day of my 50th, I was reflective about everything. My greatest accomplishment of being a dad brought me the most pride. And during a moment of reflection with my oldest daughter, I shared how fortunate I am to still be here. I listed to her all my friends that I’ve lost along the way. Some from disease, some from accidents, and a couple who took their own lives. When I was 25, I had a freak stroke that seemed to derail all my hopes and dreams. It didn’t, and as I talked about that day, more feelings of thankfulness arose inside me.
I’ve got a lot to be thankful for. None of us know how long we are going to be here, but numbers say I’m speeding towards a day when I’ll no longer be typing nonsense on the internet. With health woes and time against me, there is as much unknown as ever. Still, I’m more thankful than ever. I’ve got a family that loves me and friends that care. That’s a success story. Although, I could do without the ear hair.
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Yeah, there’s a lot to be thankful for, at whatever age you are and often in many circumstances that seem the opposite. I’m 73 now and still look in the mirror and go “oh no!” (but I did that when younger, too…) Every decade older seems too old to us. Glad you’re past your current hurdles.