Choosing Bears over Men: Chances of being attacked by a bear are 1 in 1.2 million. Chances of a woman being abused by a man are 1 in 3

A video made the rounds on social media that shows an interviewer walking up to random women asking them if they would rather be lost in the woods with a man or a bear. When I first watched the video, I thought the interviewer was making a joke, asking if a woman would rather walk into the woods with a straight man or a chubby gay man with an excessive amount of body hair. As the video ticked away, I realized the message was simple, and the question was straightforward. Many copycat variations of the video ensued.

To be honest, I thought little about the video after I watched it. As soon as the video was over, I watched another. In the days that followed, I heard there was some controversy around the question and that some men were upset about women choosing a bear over a man. The controversy caused me to pause and actually look at the question a little deeper and ask, “Is a man really more dangerous than a bear?” Upon reflection, I think the answer is, “yes.”

A person’s chance of being attacked by a bear is 1 in 2.1 million chances. The chances of a woman being raped, physically abused, or stalked by a by a man is 1 in 3. In cases of rape, 8 out of 10 women knew their attacker. If men are upset about a bear being chosen over them, then that’s part of the problem. Be more upset about the reasons why the bear is hypothetically chosen.

I have read that 2nd statistic for a long time and have written about it. That the statistic hasn’t changed is what should anger men. Too often, we (Cis men), like to quickly point out that “not all men are bad.” And I hope that’s true, but it doesn’t affect how men make women feel, regardless if they are a “good” guy or not. Statistics say the potential is always there for a man to behave horrifically.

Being a dad to two girls has definitely affected my views on women’s rights and creating safe places for them to thrive and be themselves. I have helped raise my girls to be the authors of their own story, be independent, be strong, and have safety options. Still, the threat of male violence will always be there. We shouldn’t have to raise our girls to have a “way out.” We should raise our boys to have self-control and treat women with respect. Being a dad to two boys, it is important for me to teach them how to deal with their emotions and how to treat women.

If we want women to choose us over a bear, then it’s simple, be better. When we start championing women’s issues, accept responsibility for our actions, and press equality forward in the workplace, political spaces, the bedroom, and all other places, then we’ll no longer have to compete with the animal kingdom.