You’re sound asleep when you hear the cry. In an instant you’re up and running. The cries of terror and restlessness fill the air. Then the formerly sleeping child rises up in bed and instead of being comforted after an excruciating nightmare, the child watches helplessly as their mommy or daddy writhes in pain on the floor. This occurrence is something that few parents are brave enough to talk about. Most of us place the event into the back of our minds in hopes that it doesn’t cause us nightmares of our own.

There are times that I feel my children have booby-trapped their bedroom in order to get even with me for whatever punishment I’ve recently handed out. I wonder if they huddle together and say, “Let’s yell and cry and see how fast dad gets here.” Whether it is a planned placement of toys or accidental, here’s a list of ten items that will send me to an orthopedic surgeon someday.

Army Men – It doesn’t matter if they’re carrying a bazooka or are a mine sweeper, these guys are sure to send anyone limping. The battle laid out on the ground is no comparison with the battle going on in my mind as I swallow my swear words into my chest.

Legos – Go on and step on the edge of a Lego and see how it feels. It will send the mightiest person to their knees. Unfortunately, once you hit your knees, another Lego forces itself into your kneecap.

Matchbox Cars- By glancing at a matchbox car, you wouldn’t think that stepping on it would cause any amounts of pain. Look closely and you’ll notice the death trap that is the bumper. The bumper sticks out ever so slightly, enough to dig into whatever is placed upon it.

Barbie Doll Shoes – This isn’t just a “boy” issue. Girls are also involved in placing pain into their parents’ feet. Barbie dolls themselves are not dangerous, but look out for the shoes. A turned up heel can be as deadly as a switchblade.

Airplanes – Whenever buying an airplane toy, one should consider how bad it will hurt once stepped upon. It will happen. The wheels, wings, nose, and missiles are all equally painful.

Barrettes – They’re not toys, but I felt like adding them because there have been many nights these tiny hair accessories have found their way into my toes.

Star Wars Action Figures – For the most part, these toys are pain free if stepped upon. However, if they have their toes pointed to the sky, you might find yourself hopping after stepping on Chewbacca’s toes.

Art supplies – Too often my children’s doodles are left out, along with whatever they were doodling with. Many nights I’ve had to debate if the red on my foot was from an ink pen or if I’m in need of a tourniquet.

Disney Princess – Don’t let these small toys fool you, because they are dangerous. I’m referring to the smaller princesses here. The tiny feet and karate chopping hands bring tears to my eyes just thinking about them.

Books – Watching my children read themselves to sleep is a joy to behold. Unfortunately those books end up on the floor and catching the corner of a large hardcover book makes E-readers look a lot more enticing.

Maybe I’ll have to start placing a pair of slippers by my kids’ door before they go to bed each night. I’m just glad that Jacks are a thing of the past.  What are some of the toys that find their way into your feet?

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